DBT Skill of the Day: Mindfulness of Positive Experiences ⭐️

I woke up feeling slightly “rotten”, for want of a better word. Sluggish, low and slightly dissociative. However, with lots of Opposite Action and a butt load of Willingness I did what I needed to do: I got up at 9:30am and spent time with a family friend who is visiting from America, showered, dressed, and stuck to my plans despite feeling initially unmotivated and unsociable. One of my target behaviours is engaging in mood-dependent decisions and behaviours such as avoidance, so I was determined not to let my mood dictate or ruin my day.

The plan was to head to the football at just after midday with my Dad. We drove to White Hart Lane in our appropriately blue attire, arriving an hour early with plenty of time to attend to the Spurs-inspired entertainment outside the stadium!

The sun was shining, and we could hear drums in the distance – the music upbeat, attractive and unique. I was with my Dad and we had top seats to the final game of the season!

As we would say in treatment in Boston – I observed a mood-lift!

We ended up spending almost an hour watching the drummers make music with the most awe-inspiring skill and passion. Songs such as Happy, Yesterday and of course Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur were brought to life by the teens. In the moment I felt deeply touched by the music, skills and lives of the drummers to the extent I felt close to tears. I observed such a pure happiness growing from within me, in response to both the music as well as the young performers in front of me. I was SO relieved and grateful that I had made it to the football, and full of positive emotions being amongst the crowd of spirited, excitable fans all there for a mutual purpose. I felt fully connected to the world and every single person around me – a rare and beautiful occurrence.

I genuinely believe that in situations like this, my BPD-like sensitivity is both an advantage and a blessing. 

I made a conscious decision to be as Mindful of this Positive Experience as I could be, taking in each moment for what it was, remaining present and Fully Participating in what I felt was such a joyful experience.

My positive mood continued into and throughout the match itself. Initially I was anxious about being in such a crowd (last time in one of that size I managed all of 3 minutes before bolting), but I didn’t feel a single ounce of anxiety today! My good mood acted as a buffer against otherwise more difficult experiences. I felt genuinely liberated.

My day had completely turned around within just a few hours – and overall it was such a fitting piece of evidence to show the value in Opposite Action (All The Way) – and I most certainly Accumulated Positivites in doing so!

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11 thoughts on “DBT Skill of the Day: Mindfulness of Positive Experiences ⭐️

  1. I hope DBT is working for you.. I don’t really understand it but I’m on a waiting list for it. I have borderline personality disorder with type 2 bipolar.. I definitely see more borderline in myself then anything. I wish there was a magical cure but there’s not just tons of therapy and pills but here’s to being optimistic 🙂 I enjoy reading your posts and look forward to reading more. Stay strong!

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    • If you have any questions feel free to ask. I’m planning on extending the “About DBT” section of my blog this weekend so hopefully that will help. I really hope that your program works for you. I was doubtful and resistant at first but now I see the method behind the madness 😉 Sending loving vibes!

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      • Well thank you 🙂 I’m glad to hear it’s working for you. I don’t really understand what that therapy is going to do but I’m willing to try anything because I never knew why I felt the way I did until I got diagnosed.. I know there isn’t medicine really to help with borderline I heard the only thing that helps is DBT but I’m on a waiting list of 600 people so I’m sure it will be awhile until I start. I look forward to reading that section of your blog. It’s always nice having someone understand exactly how you feel because people who don’t have borderline have no clue what it is and how you feel every single day. Positive vibes to you!

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      • The initial stages are based more on skill-use which help with tolerating distress, resisting urges and getting through the pain. As you progress, it becomes less about the practical side of DBT and more about the underlying approach itself – of mindfulness, of self-compassion, of mentalisation, of the acceptance- change dialectic, of validation, of building and maintaining relationships, of accumulating positives within one’s life. Ultimately it enables one to start building a “life worth living” for oneself 🙂

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      • Well here’s to hoping it will work 🙂 I think trying anything will be better than just not doing it because I have no faith in it. I’ve been to therapy but I heard this one is one intense because it’s weekly.. I’m not quite sure though. It’s hard even maintaining relationships because borderline makes you different and half the people have no clue how much it can affect your life and no I live in Canada I guess it must be something quite a few people need because that’s a long waiting list I’ve been waiting for at least 3 or so months.

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      • Yes there is a huge lack of funding and resources for BPD let alone the entire mental health sector. Canada and the UK run similarly in terms of a national health service and waiting lists are insane here too, up to a few years if I’m honest. I’m sorry you’re having a rough time and hope that in the meantime you have some sort of support.

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      • Yeah sounds like UK and Canada are quite the same. I think it’s paid for but I’m not quite sure to be honest.. But I heard it is quite expensive for one hour. Well thank you 🙂 I hope all is well with you as well!

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