Yesterday the eldest of the two girls I look after told me that she loved me. She told me that I’m not like a normal nanny, because I’m more like a big sister. She expressed her gratitude towards me for the fact that I engage with them, and don’t just watch or supervise them from the sidelines. We drew on the pavement with chalks, played Hopscotch and dares, personalised pizzas, and cuddled up on the sofa to watch “Hotel For Dogs” together. Connecting.
Today, I had a great session with my therapist. I was experiencing some nausea and anxiety at the start, and so we started by playing ‘Rush Hour’ as a Distress Tolerance skill (the ‘A’, for Activities, in ACCEPTS) to settle me. We sat on the floor in her office participating in this Mindful game. For the first time I was able to take off my cardigan in front of her, exposing my scars, and of course, without any judgement on her part. We ended up laughing and bonding over a seemingly menial/unrelated task, which actually became quite enjoyable; and I felt more settled as the session went on, and as she helped me to feel contained. Connecting.
This afternoon I met up for a coffee with an old friend of mine from treatment. I hadn’t seen him in 6 months, since before Boston, and a catch up was far overdue. We met in our usual spot, like old times, where we spent two hours giggling, chatting and soaking up the sunshine. Another friend was in the area and he joined us too. The three of us caught up over our drinks and cigarettes (too many!) and we reminisced over old times. Connecting.
This evening one of my oldest closest friends took me to the zoo (summer safari evening experience!) for my birthday present. We walked around the nearby parks first, ate our vegan picnic, played ‘Rush Hour’ (which J has lent me) and walked relaxedly towards the zoo.
The evening was spent with delicious food (candyfloss!), photography, more chatting, and of course more laughter. We were awe-struck in the aquarium, hyper in ‘Africa’, childlike in the penguin enclosure, and in adoration of the very cute Squirrel Monkeys and Lemurs!
Today was a good day: My relationships and connections mean the world to me. These relations and the experiences we share are truly what I live for, and I feel very lucky to have such wonderful and accepting people in my life today.