Something I often struggle with when things are not going so swimmingly is questioning the point in my existence. When reality is challenging me mentally and emotionally, my thinking can become pretty distorted and catastrophic; I often jump to a place of existentialism and despair, perhaps indulging in my feelings of purposelessness, aimlessness and worthlessness, to a not-so-beneficial degree!
Today a close friend of mine was struggling with similar feelings herself. She asked me what my thoughts are on ‘The Point Of Life’. Being in a much more manageable place this evening myself, I felt able to offer her a balanced yet realistic and perhaps hopeful – though somewhat disjointed! – response:
Q: What is, in your opinion, the point of life?
A: I guess my personal answer would be that I don’t think there is a single defining point to life/ my life. What I mean is that I do not believe that there is, can be, or even should be one specific universal explanation for our individual and collective existence. (Unless you’re talking evolutionary theory but screw that for the mo!).
Personally, I know that when I try to find THE meaning of life; when I try to search for a tangible reason for everything I deem so unreasonable at times, I get stuck in a bit of a rut. In trying to intellectualise and assume a “point” in life, I end up totally missing out on the genuine point. Ironic I know.
I guess for me, especially as I feel shit quite a lot of the time, it’s about really holding onto those moments when I can think to myself,
“This is it, this is why I am alive” –
You know that feeling when everything just makes sense and slots into place and nothing else matter… I guess I live for that feeling. Feeling free and liberated and IN THE MOMENT and beautifully aware and fully experiencing what I am going through in any meaningful given moment of time.
And then of course, invaluably for me, is the process of connecting.
Connecting to the world and to others; laughing from my belly so much in hurts; skiing with the wind in my hair unable to take the smile of my face; horse-riding and roller coasters; rainbows and climbing trees and visiting beautiful natural sites; anything animal-related and the sun shining through the trees; pressing my face up against a window watching fireworks; getting stuck in a rainstorm and embracing it, succumbing to it; hearing a child’s laughter or a baby giggle for the first time; living for the moments filled with love I can truly access from friends and family – those rare moments of pure joy.