I don’t have many friends without mental health experience because I find it so hard to know how to relate to “normal” people. Pretending is exhausting and it requires lots of effort which I do not always possess.
Sometimes I feel like a chameleon adapting to my surroundings without any real sense of who I actually am. I can ‘make friends’ but the ‘me’ these people are getting to *know* is just an illusion of a person who doesn’t really exist.
Other times I don’t care to adapt at all and end up behaving in a way which fits my BPD diagnosis – one of the only ways I know how to define myself. But defining myself by being ‘Borderline’ in my behaviour isn’t socially acceptable either.
Oh, to find a balance… If only it were that simple. #intimacyissues