It’s not Goodbye because I know it will be back, however “See you soon” is better than anything I could have hoped for, for now.
This time last week I was panic-attacking all over the place. I had been consistently waking up with heart palpitations and such intense physical anxiety. I had been having between one and three panic attacks on average a day, and it was debilitating. The physical anxiety was taking over my life.
But since Saturday my physical anxiety has fallen substantially. I have no idea what I have done differently or what the change has been because of. I am trying not to analyse but it’s hard because of the unpredictably of it all, and the fear of its return. It’s baffling, actually. The difference has been hugely noticeable – and beyond confusing!
So I am trying to be really mindful of this relative peace and freedom from the panic, and not judge it – even with the positive judgements like “THIS IS AMAZING”. It’s just been a long time since my anxiety had been a 1 or 2 out of 5, instead of a 4 or above.
The fact is that I have a strong preference for the former. And that I am grateful and relieved being in this state, as it is right now.
That’s pretty descriptive, right? 👌