I Feel Loved

I spoke to someone special to me today who I don’t get to speak to very often. She was on my treatment team in the DBT unit in Boston, and I like to think she knows me pretty well. I messed up the time difference so we didn’t get to speak for too long, but cheesy as it sounds, the time we had was enough 😉

Out of a great many therapists, I think my attachment to her has been the healthiest. I look forward to speaking with her, and miss her like I would miss an old friend. But the excruciating pain isn’t there like it has been with other therapists in my past and present. It is more of a bittersweetness.

We spoke about how things are going for her and I was thrilled to hear the updates. We spoke about how things are going for me, and I shared mine too. Sometimes I want people to think everything is hunky-dory because I ‘should’ be better by now. But with these guys I feel no pressure whatsoever to be anyone other than myself nor anything other than how I am.

According to her, I am “exactly where I need to be”. Coming from her, that means a helluva lot.

She told me that I come up often in conversations between the team. In fact, coincidentally, I came up just this morning. She told me how much I mean to them all; how much they enjoyed working with me; how impressed they are with how I am doing; and how I touched their lives, and continue to do so, so to speak.

The part which shows the most progress is that I was not just able to hear what she was saying to me, but actually internalise, and believe it.

She won’t know until she sees this post, but I couldn’t get the smile of my face the entire time we were talking 😀

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