The thoughts the thoughts the thoughts; they will not stop – I cannot escape them.
Everyone hates me, I have no friends, I have no one, I have messed up again, everything I do is wrong, I am evil, the universe is out to get me, I am trying so hard but it is backfiring, I am a burden, I am exhausting, my friends cannot deal with me, they don’t want me in their life, I should die, I cause more harm than good, is this all a test? Is this real or am I imagining things again? X is angry with me, X is not replying on purpose, X knows it will impact me, X wants me to suffer, X is choosing them over me, X prefers them, X hates me, everyone hates me, they are doing this on purpose, this is all about me, the world is out to get me, this is all a set up, they know, they think I’m insane, I am insane, I am delusional, I am losing my mind. I need to die.
And on and on and on.
Worry thoughts, black and white thoughts, catastrophic thoughts, magnifying, jumping to conclusions, judgments. Or are they? It feels so real and grounded in evidence. I don’t even know any more.
Checking the facts doesn’t work because I don’t know what is real and what is not.
I just know that this is no way to live and I cannot do relationships like this any more. I really, really need help with this.