I had a consultation over the weekend at a medical make-up clinic. I now have the opportunity to invest in a scar camouflage treatment that will allegedly minimise the appearance of the scars I have from cutting myself. The treatment is a mix of micro-needling to try and improve the skin texture itself, with the addition of a pigmentation to match the colour of the scars to my natural skin.
I thought I wanted to get rid of the scars I have on my arms, but being faced with the decision now that it is a potential reality, I am no longer so sure that I do.
The treatment is expensive, although not outrageously so and it is safe and reliable. The results do look remarkable from what I have been shown. The make up artist is top of her field so I will be in trusted hands. If it helps the appearance of the scars, I may be more able to do things my scars stop me from doing, such as wearing no sleeves whilst nannying.
However, it could amount to a lot of money depending on if I require top-ups (apparently “permanent” does not actually mean permanent, you see). It is slightly invasive and will irritate the skin for a while after. I will not be able to continue with laser hair removal on the area if I get it done! Also, I feel a sense of guilt to my self, for wanting to get rid of a part of who I am. I wonder if I am doing it for other people, more than for myself. Now that my scars are mostly healed, they don’t impact my life as much as they did when they were purple. If I get the treatment, will I be sending myself the message that my scars are something to be ashamed of, and something I need to hide?
I am thinking of getting the treatment on one arm to start with – the one I find uglier and less “attached” to the scars of. I can then see how it goes, playing things by ear, and I will still have my other arm full of scars (and other body parts) untouched if that is how I want them to stay.
I thought this would be a simple decision, but for some reason it is not. My mum is encouraging me to go ahead and book the appointment ASAP, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I keep on putting it off…