Medical Tattooing for Self Harm Scars

I had a consultation over the weekend at a medical make-up clinic. I now have the opportunity to invest in a scar camouflage treatment that will allegedly minimise the appearance of the scars I have from cutting myself. The treatment is a mix of micro-needling to try and improve the skin texture itself, with the addition of a pigmentation to match the colour of the scars to my natural skin. 

I thought I wanted to get rid of the scars I have on my arms, but being faced with the decision now that it is a potential reality, I am no longer so sure that I do. 

The treatment is expensive, although not outrageously so and it is safe and reliable. The results do look remarkable from what I have been shown. The make up artist is top of her field so I will be in trusted hands. If it helps the appearance of the scars, I may be more able to do things my scars stop me from doing, such as wearing no sleeves whilst nannying.

However, it could amount to a lot of money depending on if I require top-ups (apparently “permanent” does not actually mean permanent, you see). It is slightly invasive and will irritate the skin for a while after. I will not be able to continue with laser hair removal on the area if I get it done! Also, I feel a sense of guilt to my self, for wanting to get rid of a part of who I am. I wonder if I am doing it for other people, more than for myself. Now that my scars are mostly healed, they don’t impact my life as much as they did when they were purple. If I get the treatment, will I be sending myself the message that my scars are something to be ashamed of, and something I need to hide?

I am thinking of getting the treatment on one arm to start with – the one I find uglier and less “attached” to the scars of. I can then see how it goes, playing things by ear, and I will still have my other arm full of scars (and other body parts) untouched if that is how I want them to stay.

I thought this would be a simple decision, but for some reason it is not. My mum is encouraging me to go ahead and book the appointment ASAP, and I’m not entirely sure why, but I keep on putting it off…

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14 thoughts on “Medical Tattooing for Self Harm Scars

  1. This is a very personal choice, so I don’t feel it’s my place to advise you on what to do, but I will say that neither choice is “wrong” – one is not better than the other, one does not make you stronger or weaker than the other, etc. It is literally only about what YOU (and wise mind) want to do with your body, and we here will support you with whatever choice you decide to make! Also, it’s okay to take time to decide ๐Ÿ™‚ xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Lily, I really appreciate it. I don’t even know what I want! When I told my therapist she pulled a face as if to say “why on earth are you considering this, you don’t need to change anything about yourself to be acceptable” and I feel like I’ve got that look stuck in my head. On the other hand, I can give it a go, see what happens, and I don’t have to have the top ups if I don’t want to after the first treatment. Hmmmmm !

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      • I guess in a way I agree with what your therapist said – you don’t need to change anything about yourself to make yourself worthy, acceptable, etc. So the question is are you doing it to be acceptable to others, or are you doing it for yourself? I would recommend to not do it for other people – if you are going to do it, do it for you – only in order to make yourself more confident, comfortable, or whatever other benefits you feel you would get from it. Neither choice is going to invalidate your journey or make you unacceptable. You are inherently strong and valuable no matter what choice you make!! Have you considered making a pros and cons list? I know that may seem silly and/or obvious but sometimes it helps me. Xxx

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      • Yeah I have made a pros and cons list haha ๐Ÿ™‚ I put some of the pros and cons in the blog post. I still remain confused and undecided! I am going away for 3 weeks tomorrow anyway so I’m relieved that I can put the decision off for a while. Maybe I’ll see how I feel being exposed in short sleeves and shorts on holiday, and how comfortable I feel. Thanks so much for your words of wisdom. I know you’re right, I just keep thinking about what my mum has said and I’m confusing my own desires with hers! Take care ๐Ÿ™‚

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      • I know you already listed some and I’m sure you’re very well aware of the pros and cons but I couldn’t help asking anyway… DBT group is getting to me!! ๐Ÿ˜‰ yes you can take as much time as you want to decide because it’s YOUR body! And I hope you have a wonderful holiday ๐Ÿ™‚

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  2. I agree with Blooming Lily, if you’re not rushing to get the appointment, don’t. I’m not a cutter so I can’t fully understand that aspect but I understand that anything that changes a part of us, even a not so pretty part of us, can be scary and understandably so. You seem to have a good idea of the pros and cons of it. Maybe you can do a pros and cons on waiting vs scheduling an appointment now. Whatever you decide, just decide for you, not someone else and we’ll be here to support you. (((HUGS)))

    Liked by 1 person

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